I started reading Hunter S. Thompson when I was in college.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Most of us will do anything to avoid facing ourselves

I love engaging with the fans. It's fun.

Repentance is a rich biblical term that signifies an elemental transformation in someone's mind, heart, heart, and life.

The first end I propose in our daily work is to do the will of God; secondly, to do it in the manner he wills it; and thirdly to do it because it is his will.

Many of us prefer to live in places abandoned by humans. Less work for us. Detroit is very popular.

If the next time our governments propose to make war on a helpless civilian population we were to uncover our grief and guilt instead of our anger, how much difference might we make?

I was never idle long enough to do much thinking, but I felt somehow that my instincts were right.

I'm very, very sad to say that the only Sondheim show I've done is "A Little Night Music" and it was when I was in college.

When I first moved to New York, someone who thought they knew more than I did said: "You have to always look like you know where you're going when you get out of the subway."

I really enjoy comedy. It's a real challenge.