I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.

There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.

Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attitudes of that time. I represent everything that's supposed to be wrong, everything that's forbidden.

It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee.

Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

In those moments it's hard to remember that an angry voice is an invisible thing incapable of drawing blood.

It's sad to see just how many people are lonely together.

I get very nervous around famous people and I get nervous around beautiful women.

Knowledge of what is does not open the door directly to what should be.

Each and every one of us who is still lucky enough to have our parents has a duty to them. We do owe them.

The carbon tax is the single biggest rolled gold example of Federal Labor not listening.

I've been writing songs on little pieces of paper since I was a little kid, and it's just always been something I've done.

She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts.

A noble pair of brothers. [Lat., Par nobile fratum.]

Love is blind,” Harriet quipped. “But not illiterate,” Elizabeth retorted.