I started the day with some nothin’ tea. Nothin’ tea is easy to make. First, get some hot water, then add nothin’.

Once I got home, I sulked for a while. All my brilliant plans foiled by thermodynamics. Damn you, Entropy!

Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.

Astronauts are inherently insane. And really noble.

How come Aquaman can control whales? They’re mammals! Makes no sense.

Problem is (follow me closely here, the science is pretty complicated), if I cut a hole in the Hab, the air won't stay inside anymore.

I do know that the best way to make a mediocre movie is to just transcribe the book.

Everything went great right up to the explosion.

As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.

If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.

Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”What do you know? I’m in command

Either you were the best of the best or you were nothing, and somehow that didn't seem right.

Times do keep changing - thank God.

I aint sayin I'm requestin anyone that's perfect but I just need a woman that'll make it all worth it.

In Hollywood we acquire the finest novels in order to smell the leather bindings.

Every time you find yourself becoming angry, jealous or frustrated, stop and think the opposite thought.

Oh yes, right—right. What is the use of having right on your side if you have not got might?

Intentions, good or bad, are not enough. There's luck or fate or something else that takes over.

Just as eating against one's will is injurious to health, so studying without a liking for it spoils the memory, and it retains nothing it takes in.

We look at each other for a moment and for once I feel awkward. It's not that I'm not into humility; I've just never had to practise it.

Yeah, you go after her, and I suggest you invest in a steel plated jockstrap. Last guy who said something sexual to her and pissed her off is still limping around the office. (Carlos)