I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking.

The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings.

A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.

There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.

All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.

Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.

Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.

Song

The day is coming when your vision will become a reality

The sunken grave would fade away, probably in my lifetime. If I could avoid killer zombies for a few years. And vampires. And gun-toting humans. Oh, hell, the hot-spot would probably outlast me.

You're making yourself too important. Guilt comes from feeling we're at the center of the universe. We're not.

Great stories teach you something. That's one reason I haven't slipped into some sort of retirement: I always feel like I'm learning something new.

I'm not sure I would have ever decided to try to write when I was forty-five if I hadn't already gotten that degree [in English].

Make no mistake about it! There is an organized movement against organized labor and it's called the Bush Administration.

Wowie zowie, love me do. Wowie zowie, and I'll love you, too.

The only thing worse than an oppressed liberal is the Rino Republican who sympathizes with them.

Growing up, I never heard my parents curse, never. The first time I ever said a curse word was with my sister Kim.