I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard.

The artist is not a special kind of man, but every man is a special kind of artist.

I'm a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun.

The human mind is never better disposed to gratitude and attachment than when softened by fear.

History provides no precise guidelines.

I've been in office and I've been out of office. And if I were to choose, I'd rather be in office.

Not following her is the hardest thing I've ever done.

There were a lot of great things you could go and hear for very little money at the time [ '80s]. Mike Stern is still playing at the 55 Bar on Mondays or Wednesdays.

It's not like I idolize this one guy Machiavelli. I idolize that type of thinking where you do whatever's gonna make you achieve your goal.

The whole purpose of the universe is unerringly aimed at one thing - you.