I stay away from the telephone if at all possible.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

With infinite wisdom and care your life is constantly sustained because Nature flows through you.

I hope I can help guys come out and say, 'All right, dude, I got a manicure... and I liked it.'

Gardeners instinctively know that flowers and plants are a continuum and that the wheel of garden history will always be coming full circle.

I love nicknames. It makes me feel loved. It makes me feel less alone in this world.

The real problem is not increasing your energy. The problem is losing it. If you stop the loss and you simply meditate, you will have more than enough energy. You will learn to live strategically.

We are closer to the ants than to the butterflies. Very few people can endure much leisure.

I want to create a society that is working for me and with me - and I am working for society, not against it.

There is no doubt that I have lots of words inside me; but at moments, like rush-hour traffic at the mouth of a tunnel, they jam.

If God made me a princess, why didn't he take a little more time and make my hair so it wouldn't snarl?

I can't just sit down and make a song in a day. It's only possible if you focus on the music and not the sound.