I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie.

My final word: don't follow your dreams . . . chase them. With a stick, or a shovel, or whatever you have handy. Get that [bleep]ing dream!

People have an image of Italians. When I go somewhere in the world, I don't care where it is, when they look at me it's not about my intelligence. It's who can I beat up.

When I was right out of college, I felt competitive with some of the guys in my class over career stuff.

The most important moments rarely come at a convenient time

Why couldn't Pheidippides have died at 20 miles?

We are being watched. It's now time for us to watch the watchers.

As soon as I heard the truth that Elijah Muhammad teaches us in America, it made me accept it.

High premiums are being paid today not particularly for quality service or long-term building of a business but rather for making money quickly, getting rich, and getting out. And that's wrong.

As flies to wanton boys, are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.