I still wonder what made him leave. Were they my demons or his own?

Don't you worry Roald Dahl, The 6-year old me loved you but the 16-year old me worships you.

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

Those of us who had a perfectly happy childhood should be able to sue for deprivation of literary royalties.

The Eagles and the critics were not the best of friends.

Each time that I think you go, I turn around and you're creeping in.

...I don't think my church's teachings were incorrect, just incomplete.

If a kid ever realized what was involved in factory farming, they would never touch meat again.

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.

As McLuhan says, everything happens at once.

I will have this done, so I order it done; let my will replace reasoned judgement.

On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.