I stroll along, talk, I sign books, people buy me drinks, I forget where my hotel is, I get lost and fall into some local body of water... done it hundreds of times.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

. . . and he knew that our dreams are none the less terrible to lose, because they have never been the realities for which we have mistaken them.

Many of your relationship problems are not really relationship problems. They're personal problems that spill over into relationships.

If you want to have a creative culture, you can't get it by reading books. You get it by example.

Fans these days seem to almost expect a response from band-members any time they tweet or leave a comment etc.

I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.

It seems to me that even the least of the human race is touched with genius when mad with love.

Words should be only the clothes, carefully custom-made to fit the thought.

I have never been able to wear pajamas or creepy nightgowns; they disturb my sleep.

Awakening is dynamic, Constantly evolving in accordance with life's realities

Sometimes you could be in an unhappy relationship; you are very much in love with someone, but it's making you unhappy and you think things can change and you can work it out.