I struggle as a writer, and I'm convinced that if I was at school now, I'd be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I'm drifting.

There's a domino effect with certain things you say.

I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up.

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.

We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.

With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.

My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in.

I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough.

When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that.

I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest was 22 stone.

They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day.

Shit will always be Shit! No amount of perfume can make it stink less

Religion is the opiate of the people.

Up to a point, it is better to just let the snags [bugs] be there than to spend such time in design that there are none.

Good scripts are hard to find.

I reckon there's as much human nature in some folks as there is in others, if not more.

For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label.

Use what is dominant in a culture to change it quickly.

She was plump, with dyed red hair and a face so caked with cosmetics that the floor of the Amazon jungle probably saw more natural light.

I mean, a lot of time rehearsals are taken up with other things other than preparing a character.

I'm a bit of a perfectionist, but you have to know you're going to make mistakes. It's how you respond to those mistakes that counts.