I suppose I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men that people have seen on television.

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

It's better to make people laugh than cry.

To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career is to make people laugh-well, its the best job in the world.

If I was as rich as Rockefeller I'd be richer than Rockefeller, because I'd do a bit of window cleaning on the side.

I am an artist you know ... it is my right to be odd.

If we are to be aware of life while we are living it, we must have the courage to relinquish our hard-earned control of ourselves.

The Church, however, is a self-governing society, distinct from the State, having its officers and laws, and, therefore, an administrative government of its own.

Losers fix the blame; winners fix what caused the problem.

I'm stronger knowing that while Donna Rice could be sold, she could not be bought.

[Before being burned at the stake for her faith:] Hold the cross high so I may see it through the flames.

Let us all learn to be free, and to be loyal

I have been contending all my life, and always with God.

Advertising generally works to reinforce consumer trends rather than to initiate them.

I'm not a separatist. The imagination is integrative. That's how you make the new -- by putting something else with what you've got. And I'm unashamedly an American integrationist.