I suspect there really was more to my accident than bad luck. I think it was God's way of punishing my nose.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Horizontal expansion loses the depth, though excessive depth that only provokes darkness is futile. Therefore a balance between depth and vastness is essential in learning

Gather experience... Look at what you should not look at. A feeling of anxiety is the sure and certain evidence that you should do this.

Beer drinking doesn't do half the harm of lovemaking.

I wondered if I would talk about drug use. But I guess, why hide it?

My father and mother split and I never saw my father until I was 20, nor did I see much more of my mother.

Here's something that intrigues me: If you have faith, you believe regardless of the evidence, yet if there's ever evidence to support faith, everyone goes to it and points to it.

We can not play innocents abroad in a world that is not innocent.

The reason why most people are frustrated is because a lie cannot be turned into a truth.

No one was ever scolded out of their sins.

There is something about poverty that smells like death.