I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

May our effort, confidence and concern for others be the altar from which we pray for personal abundance.

I let my anger consume me.”“It’s understandable, ” she said.“It may be understandable, ” replied Pug, “but it is no more forgivable for being understandable.

You can ensure the safety of your defense if you only hold positions that cannot be attacked.

no one had experiences any more, only traumas.

To dance, put your hand on your heart and listen to the sound of your soul.

Dreams are composed of many things, my son. Of images and hopes, of fears and memories. Memories of the past, and memories of the future.

It's only a world, after all, and they're just sand grains in the desert, worlds.

It bugs me that people think my songs are personal because it means I have to explain myself all the time.

If there's ever an example that military power alone cannot be successful in Afghanistan, I think it was the Soviet experience.

When truth is evident, it is impossible for parties and factions to rise. There never has been a dispute as to whether there is daylight at noon.