I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he's written that can't be read aloud easily.

Our life seems cursed to be a wiggle merely, and a wandering without end.

Sala-manda-stron, look out here we come, A thief a warrior and a mole. Though the quest may take its toll, We'll march until we reach our goal.

[John F. Kennedy] was Arthur, the guy in the middle of the room with all the swords pointed at him. ... He wanted control of the situation.

After The Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal, the audience would like to know where, when, and who arrests Hannibal Lecter for the first time. This is the story of Red Dragon.

It’s so hard to communicate because there are so many moving parts. There’s presentation and there’s interpretation and they’re so dependent on each other it makes things very difficult.

I believe that, we're better when we're moving forward. We're stronger together, so that's what I'm going to be doing.

You have to be a good team, but you have to be lucky and stay away from injuries.

It's moving in the right direction. It was in decline under the previous administration.

Find the meaning behind whatever it is you're going through because everybody's got something.