I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

I hope you find someone who knows how to love you when you are sad.

The secret of being happy is not longing for it!

I'm down to sell records but not my soul.

I'm the one who didn't want to go into Iraq.

There is no shame in impulse.

[On her father's death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much.

We're all on a journey. The average American switches professions four times. I'm lucky to be in a business where I can change the character I am playing every couple of months.

Plant as many good thoughts as you can in each day.

If you choose to concentrate on the dark side, this is what you will see.

As long as you like me the best. And you think I’m good-looking—sort of. I’m prepared to be annoyingly persistent.