I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

And deep down, she felt like maybe she didn't deserve it-that she belonged with the petty thieves and guys who drank Pabst Blue Ribbon for breakfast

Yes, I believe that the art of winning is through intimidation, and not necessarily do you have to speak about it.

There is none more lonely than the man who loves only himself.

I like vintage stuff. I go through a vintage store and find things that I feel like I fit right into them because of all the years that they've been used.

One of the worst things we could do is start to act now as though the attack of 9/11 is a thing of the past and will never be repeated. That's just not true.

The Lives of Great Men are more oft' at variance with their profess'd Phillosophies than consistent with 'em.

With Usura With usura hath no man a house of good stone each block cut smooth and well fitting.

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

With Marguerite, he wanted only time—more and more time—and he was granted it, nighttimes and daytimes and nighttimes again.

It is evidently necessary to generate and test candidates for solutions in some systematic manner.