I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.

Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.

Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.

I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

[Technology] has taught us how to become gods before we have learned to be men.

The universe created us to be happy.

I just hated the law. I wasnt cut out for it. I couldnt imagine spending my life doing that, so I quit before I began.

Risk concerns future happenings - as related to present practices - and the colonising of the future therefore opens up new settings of risk, some of which are institutionally organised.

I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free. Mankind will surely not deny to Harold Skimpole what it concedes to the butterflies.

The question is not whether you have a right to render people miserable, but whether it is not in your best interest to make them happy.

Of all our faults, the one that we excuse most easily is idleness.

Arson, after all, is an artificial crime...A large number of houses deserve to be burnt.

A lot of guys just got off the flight yesterday. There's no excuses but that's the reality.

We penetrated deeper and deeper into the heart of darkness