I tend to a lot of improvisational ranting, and that's fun. For me, stand-up has been, performance-wise, a really good outlet.

A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it.

I'm not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they're really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time.

I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories.

Love is such a confusing word. You think I'm joking but I'm not.

I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world.

In real life, comedians aren't funny.

I knew that if I was going to write a book, I was going to have to read one, too.

I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything.

Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.

Maybe in 10 years,I'll only be doing "classical" comedy. Or crashing my car into trees.

God gave the Bible to us because He wants us to know Him and love Him and serve Him. Most of all, He gave it to us so we can become more like Christ.

To escape the damnation of hell is to accept God’s kingdom

The Kardashians can be famous for being famous. What do they do? I can't figure it out.

Remember, if people talk about you behind your back, it only means you are two steps ahead of them.

I got so strong I felt like a giant.....When I stood on the tee with Arnold and Jack, I was tiny compared to them. But I never believed they were bigger than me. So the mind is so fascinating.

HIV AIDS is a disease with stigma. And we have learned with experience, not just with HIV AIDS but with other diseases, countries for many reasons are sometimes hesitant to admit they have a problem.

Reality is always greater - much greater - than what we know, than whatever we can say about it.

The reality is that the NBA was in worse shape in the '70s and early '80s. People have convenient memories.

The coach has put a lot of trust in me to make good decisions in the post.

There, I'm an artist. Thousands of women on ecstasy now want to have three-ways with me.