I think I can be competitive. Heck, anybody who can walk to the first tee here has a chance.

Vodka does not ease back pain. But it does get your mind off it.

I might not come home with hardware, but I'm winning.

Newspapers do a good job telling me what happened yesterday, but they'd be a lot more impressive if they could tell me what's going to happen tomorrow.

The greatest thing about golf, there's no end to it unless you're dead. You just go from here to the Senior Tour.

I'm glad I don't have to make a living farming. Too much hard work. Too many variables you don't have control over, like, is it going to rain? All I can say is, god bless the real farmers out there.

Life is not a bowl full of cherries, there's good and bad stuff.

Because you pray after you play.

You've got to gamble every once in a while in a round of golf. I'm not afraid to screw up.

I've never been to heaven and, thinking back on my life, I probably won't get a chance to go. I guess the Masters is as close as I'm going to get.

I accept the fact that I'm going to miss it sometimes. I just hope I miss it where I can find it.

For I know that we laughers have a gross cousinship with the most high, and it is this contrast and perpetual quarrel which feeds a spring of merriment in the soul of a sane man.

What is cooking? 'Cooking' is a loose term. It's understanding energy or the lack thereof.

Always let your employees come to work with a smile.

I am driving an unfamiliar vehicle down a narrow road I've never seen before. Do you really want to be pissing me off right now?

Only he who finds empiricism irksome is driven to method.

In the long run, investing is not about markets at all. Investing is about enjoying the returns earned by businesses.

An eye for an eye til everyone is blind.

I think poetry involves heightened noticing or imagining as well as creating a certain made shape. On the other hand, that shape can be made just by pointing at something and saying, "That's a poem".

Remember finally, that the ashes that were on your forehead are created from the burnt palms of last Palm Sunday. New beginnings invariably come from old false things that are allowed to die.

Nature ever provides for her own exigencies.