I think I'd be a really good dad. So perhaps I'm doing society a disservice by not having as many kids as possible.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

True kindness is evidence of true courage.

Very slowly using two fingers, Annabeth drew her dagger. Instead of dropping it, she tossed it as far as she could into the w

Don’taccept good things from bad people.

I'd like to wake up and look like Brad Pitt in the morning, but I don't. I look in the mirror, and I see me.

My biggest regret is that I didn't listen to my intuition as it was yelling at me.

The human understanding is like a false mirror, which, receiving rays irregularly, distorts and discolors the nature of things by mingling its own nature with it.

If you go to a lower crossover point, a negative place of power, then the beings there are very unevolved, very demonic, crazy, lower than the people of this world.

Our dignity is not in what we do, but what we understand.

Religion is not any particular teaching. Religion is everywhere.

I was never interested in what everybody else was interested in. I was very interiorized. I always felt kind of sad.