I think I'd be pretty easy to write for.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

More than power is respect. Fortunate are those who command it.

I'm fully aware that if I were to change professions tomorrow, become an astronaut and be the first man to land on Mars, the headlines in the newspapers would read: 'Mr. Darcy Lands on Mars.

The things which cannot be adequately represented by words are more important than those which can.

The point of what I do is that it doesn't really matter what a book or a story is as long it moves you, informs you, challenges you, entertains you, or changes you.

You have to know when to strike and when to retreat.

Heaven's full of astronauts and the Lord's on death row.

Help the man-in-the-street make sense of the bewildering.

Freedom of inquiry, freedom of discussion, and freedom of teaching - without these a university cannot exist.

It may be an information age, but... It takes more work to earn more money to be overwhelmed by more information that does not equal knowledge or wisdom.

I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week.