I think I got off on the wrong planet. Beam me up Scotty, there's no rational life here.

The function of law and theology are the same: to keep the poor from taking back by violence what the rich have stolen by cunning.

The fear of death is the beginning of slavery.

You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of nearly omnipotent people, and you should think of those people as yourself and your friends.

You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.

In conlusion, there is no conclusion. Things will go on as they always have, getting weirder all the time.

The rapists of the intellectual world become politicians; the seducers become artists.

Philadelphia merely seems dull because it's next to exciting Camden, New Jersey.

Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.

History, sociology, economics, psychology et al. confirmed Joyce's view of Everyman as victim.

My own opinion is that belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.

My wandering imagination never gives up on me and always finds ways to explore what my emotions entail.

Fear ends where love begins.

Attitudes are like mirrors, they reflect towards anyone that's looking.

The respect one gets in the forces by virtue of the ‘rank’ is not absolute. 'True respect’ is the one that is earned by virtue of actions, experience, knowledge and demeanor.

The highest state is laughter.

The most you get is what you ask for.

New York in a way functions as another character within the story, as it does within most of Woody Allen's stories.

I would rather be a swineherd, understood by the swine, than a poet misunderstood by men.

Beware the ides of March.