I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

I’m tired of justifying why I love someone. I’m done with the explaining.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

[I want to be] Something that really touched you - and as far as image and change goes, I just really want a lot of people to respect my music and treat me... [as] inspiration.

I decline to buy repentance at the cost of ten thousand drachmas.

Yes I make mistakes that I don't ever make excuses for

I spent so much of my younger life drinking, and being drunk makes learning to be a grown-up kind of hard.

I sell mirrors in the city of the blind.

I would say that 99 per cent of what my father has written about his own life is false.

To me the thought of oneself as low and humble is a sin and ignorance.

I love the cancer spoon!