I think I love jokes! The best jokes are equal to the best art, in my mind, and as rare.

The most fundamental attack on freedom is the attack on critical thinking skills.

Like great art, something essential dies when great jokes are explained. So what's the key to telling a good joke/creating great art timing.

You should never trust a liar so you should never trust a man of honor. Those two are the worst of mankind.

Who will not judge him worthy to be robbed That sets his doors wide open to a thief, And shows the felon where his treasure lies?

You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.

You know what is interesting, Condit is very conservative. He voted to post the ten commandments in schools. Yet, he himself broke the 11th commandment, 'Thou shall not put thy rod in thy staff.'

The least amount of judging we can do, the better off we are.

Hey sister, you're just moving too fast, you're screwing up the quota.

I feel just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. You know, except for the whole hooker thing.

Life is the steam of the corporeal engine; the soul is the engineer who makes use of the steam-quickened engine.

The air crackled with the presage of lightning, and a heavy mist descended around them.

There are two lost continents.... We are one: the lovers.