I think I'm a shy, self-conscious person who thinks he's being looked at and tries to look okay. Not in a hottie, narcissistic way necessarily.

Yo! You’re my dope dealer not my thesis adviser. If I wanted your opinion about my dissertation, I’d have asked for it, Motherfucker!

“Et Tu, Babe” was born out of my absolute certainty that a writer’s life was solitary and insular, and I was happy with that. I love reading and writing, it’s my whole life.

Sometimes I think my purpose is as a saboteur when I'm working with other people, derailing what they're trying to do or taking things to a ludicrous extremity.

One of the things that struck me as unique about Hollywood is that I never had bad meetings. There were all enthusiastic, but meaninglessly enthusiastic.

I think to simply make fun of something isn't particularly interesting. I try to not just do a parody of something or belittle something or disparage something.

I was an infinitely hot and dense dot.

The interesting thing about something in the back of your mind is that it can travel pretty far back in your mind.

It's in great joy that we grasp truth.

I can tell from about 20 yards away when someone has a manuscript for me. I can just tell - they have that look.

I think of memory as a game, that is as something one engages in with a very profound kind of "playfulness."

Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.

There are literally billions of people on earth. There are some that won’t admit it, but all of those people want friends.

Even the smallest magics can grow.

When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose your self-worth in the process.

Pray devoutly but hammer stoutly.

If I could have gotten 51 votes in the Senate of the United States for an outright ban, picking up every one of them... 'Mr. and Mrs. America, turn 'em all in,' I would have done it.

I still think funny, and people young and old still come and see me. That's flattering. The day comes that they stop coming, then I'll know that it's time to retire to the Jewish ranch.

The practice of perseverance is the discipline of the noblest virtues. To run well, we must run to the end. It is not the fighting but the' conquering that gives a hero his title to renown.

Do the Clam, do the Clam, grab your barefoot baby by the hand.

There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base.