I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

Always give the rabble something to love and something to hate.

This day is the most recent set of events to define you. Every day changes your life. Every last one.

Just because you may live your life in recovery, surely doesn't mean the PARTY IS OVER, Nope!, it just means you can remember what you DID LAST NIGHT!".LOL

Magnus gazed dreamily in his direction. "You should leave him here. I could hang hats on him and things.

For something warm, try adding cinnamon sticks and nutmeg to apple cider simmering on the stove. You'll get the added benefit of making your home smell amazing.

There is no formula to relationships.

It is God who gives life. Let us respect and love human life, especially vulnerable life in a mother's womb.

We, the people of the United States, we are a great Nation with a great vision.

A pencil and rubber are of more use to thought than a battalion of assistants. To happiness the same applies as to truth: one does not have it, but is in it.

Three jolly huntsmen, In coats of red, Rode their horses Up to bed.