I think I'm trying to write truthfully about life, and naturalism, or the way people normally talk in movies, is a convention. It's not the way people talk in life at all.

For me, a play is a form of writing which isn't complete until it is interpreted by actors. But it's still a form of writing. And so most of my time is spent thinking about how to write a sentence.

It's obviously a characteristic of human beings that we like to feel superior to others, but our problem is we are not superior

Who says one instance of writing has anything in common with another instance?

Even with my wife, I find sharing soup is hard.

I have been vain since birth.

Sleep: a poor substitute for caffeine!

I spend most of my time thinking about things like laundry and buying stationery supplies.

I'm not proud to be me, I'm not excited to be me, but I find that I am me, and like most other individuals, I send out little signals; I tell everyone else how everything looks from where I am.

Patriotism is considered to be an emotion a person ought to feel. But why? Why is it nobler to love your own country than to love someone else's?

I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look in a mirror it doesn't seem funny to me.

Every calling is great when greatly pursued.

True courage is being afraid, and going ahead and doing your job anyhow, that's what courage is.

I think it was interesting to be steeped in that [political] world.

I see no virtue where I smell no sweat.

The best diplomacy starts with getting to know each other.

If you ever go to talk to an editor you don't want to be able to turn down a job because you can't do what is necessary.

Always focus on the outcome of a desired act.

Traveling is a fool's paradise. Our first journeys discover to us the indifference of places.

In a way, I think religion is to be admired for asking the right questions. I just think it's got the wrong answers.

A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.