I think...I shall call ye Beauty, for I shall be yer beast.

Have ye ever known a female who wasna a bit of a witch in her own sweet way?

A bear! I've landed on a wild and wicked bear!

What the feckin' hell is PMS, I'd like to ken?""Petty Male Shit, " she yelled.

Driving a stolen plane will be nothing compared to the ride with a fired-up Scot.

He was so damn hard, he could chip the ice from his truck's windshield with his rigid pecker.

The little woman, wearing a pink and black zigzag-striped pantsuit over a black turtleneck, resembled a skinny zebra who'd OD'd on Pepto-Bismol.

Ye have taught me something I never understood.""What? How to get rid of Parisian Pink Pecker Disease?

If ye wear underwear, it's a skirt. If ye dinna, it's a kilt.

Nice! There's no fun in nice. I'll be myself and you'll all love me for it.

If there’s anyone we are sure to learn something from, it’s the one who pushes our buttons.

To yearn for love is for kingdom reality to residue in your psyche

Crazy must run in your family, ” he says.“You do know Fia!” I blurt, then bite my lip.

If a poem hasn't ripped apart your soul; you haven't experienced poetry.

The United States enjoy a scene of prosperity and tranquility under the new government that could hardly have been hoped for.

The horse does not eat cucumber salad

Like true philosophers I've come to believe that religion is an illusion of childhood, outgrown after proper education.

The more years you put behind you, hopefully making music that surpasses what you did before, you're playing bigger places and it kind of weirdly becomes a business.

Twitter is just a great joke laboratory. You go in there and there are so many witty people that I know any joke I make is going to have a response with at least 10 great jokes coming back.