I think I think, therefore I think I am.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

We need to protect and care for our children because when society fails to protect its children, there will be no one else to learn from.

You must refuse to entertain or shelter in your mind, any thought or belief that goes against your happiness and success in life.

There is nothing spiritual about a marriage that uses guilt, blame, shame or religious manipulations to keep a relationship together.

I love to flirt, and I've never met a man I didn't like.

You can get more with a simple prayer and a Thompson sub-machinegun than you can with a simple prayer alone.

I just like seeing the world, and it doesn't matter where.

The stereotypes we pretend that we reject are ingrained in our DNA.

Once again, Pat Robertson leaves us speechless with his insensitivity and arrogance.

The game cannot be won, only played.

The only instrument I can play is piano. Whenever I make songs at home, I play the piano and make them on the piano.