I think as a standup performer you have to feel the audience. So the audience kind of dictates what they get, you know?

I was one of the first veejays to take the camera out on location, and that's what was unique about MTV at that time.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me.

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.

I want to do an 'Extreme Makeover' show. You know that MTV show 'I Want To Have A Famous Face'? Well, I want to do a new show. I want to have a different famous face.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.

I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

I'm not used to getting good reviews.

When you want to learn something, all the life experiences conspire in helping you to learn.

The crazy game of pilling stones was also in you and your friends’ marvelous innovation. And how really hard you would hit the phony big guy who you hated like anything.

The basis of optimism is sheer terror.

I'm convinced that there is nothing that can happen to me in this life that is not precisely designed by a sovereign Lord to give me the opportunity to learn to know Him.

So, thanks God, our films, our first films were suddenly being appreciated by the Western media; especially France was very good, and Switzerland was very good.

She bludgeoned me with a look of such limitless compassion that I immediately began to cry.

That was a continuance of what we have seen most of the season - that is, various clubs beating each other.

Once one has rejected faith, it will become impossible for him to enter the gates of Heaven.

I think right now it's a battle for the mindshare of developers and for the mindshare of customers, and right now iPhone and Android are winning that battle.

Scotsmen are metaphisical and emotional, they are sceptical and mystical, they are romantic and ironic, they are cruel and tender, and full of mirth and despair.