I think being funny had something to do with feeling like an outsider, not feeling cool - insecurity.

I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.

We only hear success stories. You don't hear about the hundreds and hundreds - the overwhelming majority that don't go anywhere. This is a more realistic portrayal of what happens in startups.

The plan was always to come to America, because Pakistan's a scary place. They don't have religious freedom. It's very poor, and there's a lot of violence and corruption.

Just because you saw a vampire doesn't mean that a snowman or a Loch Ness Monster also exists.

The whole religion of Islam is based on reward and punishment and reward and punishment, and it becomes a part of how you think of everything. Even yourself.

I thought of America as this crazy, happy, exciting place where everybody's rich and there's stuff everywhere. Compared to Pakistan, it's not untrue.

I was extremely shy and had a terrible fear of public speaking. But I had fallen in love with stand-up.

I am a very nerdy guy. I understand that it's easier to cast me as a nerdy guy than an action star - although I would love to be an action star!

It's not like I listened to music and then stopped. I still don't have a real appreciation for music because I didn't really start listening to it until my 20s.

I moved to New York first and was really apprehensive about moving to L.A., but I really, really like it.

Whatever happens to your body, your soul will survive, untouched...

There is much you can learn from books and scrolls. These books are my friends, my companions. They make me laugh and cry and find meaning in life.

One great error is that we suppose mankind more honest than they are.

An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.

There was madness in any direction, at any hour. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning.

Habit gives endurance, and fatigue is the best night cap.

The only reason I went to college was to play basketball. I injured my knee and couldn't play.

[Humans] don't just survive; they discover; they create. ... I mean, just look at what they do with food!

If the poor ever feel poor as the rich do, we will have a most bloody revolution.

We have never meddled in the domestic affairs of any state and we never will.