I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

If God forgave you, then forget your past and renounce it

Darkness has its own beauty that you can only see with your inner light.

If everything is an illusion. To experiment is to find out what's real.

Because we [people] have an intellect, part of what we do is try to understand the "intelligent design." Everything we don't know is "intelligent design." Everything we do know is science.

I'd never had money growing up, and it's never been that important to me, except maybe to take our kids on a nice vacation or something like that.

Which would you prefer? To be king of the mountain for a day? Or to be a child of God for eternity?

Death is real. Death changes things. Everything else is filler, merely a message from our sponsor.

When working with an orchestra, you never spend more than 20 minutes per recording session.

I want to tell people that family violence happens to anybody, no matter how nice your house is, no matter how intelligent you are.