I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

... no matter how nice you are to some people, they'll turn their back on you the second they get the chance.

Because it's our choices that makes us who we are.

You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.

I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget

See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.

So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear.

I labored for eight years thinking that I was writing a book for adults that was a nostalgic look back on childhood. Then my publisher informed me I'd written a children's book.

I'm having a seriously hard time getting used to the fact that summer is over and I have to get out of bed every morning to go to school.

Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know.

I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days.

The art of acting consists in keeping people from coughing.

The trees which are pruned, watered and nurtured by caring hands bear the greatest fruits; it is the same with people.

She gives the night its dreams.

I did not particularly enjoy modeling. I felt I was only utilizing 10 or 20 percent of my abilities. In India, it's just another job.

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work.

Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends... Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.

Never be limited by other people's limited imaginations.

The third rule of ethics of means and ends is that in war the end justifies almost any means.

On a single day, I read articles where I was described as being alternately 'lanky,' 'pudgy,' 'doughy,' 'balding,' 'utterly forgettable,' and 'constantly irritating.

Despotism increases in severity with the number of despots; the responsibility is more divided, and the claims are more numerous.