I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Stand up upon the right side, and I shall expound the similitude unto thee.

Always choose the most difficult way, there you will not meet competitors.

Hardship often prepares an ordinary person for an extraordinary destiny.

If you have the talent and if you have the ability, and you work for it, you can achieve your goals.

I'm not a guy who is out trying to promote myself. It's really not me.

Every crime destroys more Edens than our own

All peoples everywhere should have free energy sources.

Real people are what fascinates me, whether it's from an acting point of view or a directing point of view.

Music is not an exact science so depending on the time and the mode and the energy when we do it that will determine what happens with it.

I believe because it is absurd.