I think if you use Twitter and social media as your main source of information you are an idiot, but I think most people who use it know better, so I kind of enjoy it.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

And love is work. But it's the best kind of work there is.

Kind words and tender affections will not save me from this lake of woe and misery, but they may be enough of a buoy to prevent my drowning.

Francis Ford Coppola - A man climbs a mountain and they call him a hero. I climb mountains that aren't even there.

I have always fought for ideas - until I learned that it isn't ideas but grief struggle and flashes of vision which enlighten.

Without - you know, good intelligence stops plots against the homeland. Without that intelligence, we cannot effectively stop it.

In what grade do we stop believing in ourselves? I asked. In what grade do we stop believing, period? I mean, SOMEONE has to be a Nobel Peace Prize winner. SOMEONE has to be a ballerina. Why not us?

I'm not politically correct; I never said I was.

There are different flavors of recession. You can get into some pretty dark scenarios pretty quickly.

You will learn to defeat the enemy.

Lord Bacchus, do you remember me? I helped you with that missing leopard in Sonoma." Bacchus scratched his stubbly chin. "Ah... yes. John Green." "Jason Grace." "Whatever," the god said.