I think it's better to be a hair band than a bald band.

Where most people looked forward to the weekend to go out and yie one on, my idea of a good time was to figure out a Scorpions song

God does not give money. He gives the power to get wealth.

Fitness is a luxury when you are busy!

I solemnly swear that I will bear true and faithful allegiance to the Queen when she pays her income tax.

That had always been my purpose: to get people back in touch with what makes us so valuable as a human race.

They are fruit and transport: ripening melons, prairie schooners journeying under full sail.

I love to work. I love doing standup.

Conservative feminism is such an artificial term that doesn't mean much to me. For me conservatism means accepting reality. I acknowledge that there are differences between men and women.

The man who is always waving the flag usually waives what it stands for.

Welfare mothers make better lovers.

Mum doesn't like it when I mention that Dad's a better cook than her. He was born in Spain and spent eight years in Portugal and is exceptional at lots of cuisines.