I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Non-judgment quiets the internal dialogue, and this opens once again the doorway to creativity.

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.

I'm going to be working on my shot. Working on extending my range. Keep working on everything, and really studying the game.

I think funniness is a sign of intelligence.

Better to be a beggar in freedom than to be forced into compromises against my conscience.

If I were to point to the person who's having the greatest impact... I'd point to Elon Musk.

The whole thing about rock music, pop music, is it's really for kids.

Life is too short to spend hoping that the perfectly arched eyebrow or hottest new lip shade will mask an ugly heart.

Just because a man has died for it, does not make it true.

My office is on Twitter. I don't tweet myself - at least, not intentionally, but I probably should do.