I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

In the hands of thinking humanity, the purpose of the tool of Divinity or Religion is not the service of bookish doctrines, but the realization of the self.

When you see, not only intellectually but with your heart too, how we are all connected, how can you harm another? It's the same as harming oneself.

The most attractive force is a smile.

Have you no idea of progress, of development?""I have seen them both in an egg, " said Caspian. "We call it 'Going Bad' in Narnia

Never had a decent report in his life!" Tony repeated, hardly able to believe the words. He was thinking, in shocked surprise, that even Tante Bettina did not know how mad the English could be.

In my youth poverty enriched me but now I can afford wealth.

We are not judged by what we are basically. We are judged by how hard we use what we have been given. Success means nothing to the Lord.

Trying to help an oppressed person is like trying to put your arm around somebody with a sunburn.

Chess is a curse upon a man.

We have free elections. Everybody can vote, we fought for that, we brag about that and we know we're going to have a winner and we're going to have a loser.