I think it's probably much easier to do political comedy from a two-party point of view, in that the majority have some sense of what it means to be one or the other.

Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met

You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north."

If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.

Shouldn't the long-term goal of any society be complete unemployment?

One UK paper described me as a "miserablist", a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect.

I think a lot of women look at prostitutes like they're scabs crossing an union picket line, where they go: You can't just go out and sell it for what it's worth, we're holding out for so much more!

What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.

Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we'll kill everything.

Self love is number one. As you radiate it out to others

But I know how this romantic stuff works: one girl's perfect guy is another girl's reject. And right now I'm glad of it.

Forgive yourself for believing that youre anything less than beautiful.

I grew up with baseball; I played in Little League and went to games with my dad. But I, as I grew up, became more of a basketball fanatic than a baseball one.

As an artist your trajectory just has to keep going up. the thing that subverts your next body of work is the work you've taken before.

I was trained as a dramatic actor. Im really excited to do some more dramatic stuff.

All thoughts, desires, conventions, attachments which come from outside must be ruthlessly pushed away.

The world needs ditch diggers, too.

If we live in peace ourselves, we in turn may bring peace to others. A peaceable man does more good than a learned one.