I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

You wanted to feel alive, right? It doesn't matter if you're monster or human. Living hurts.

I love libraries. Everybody there is serious and focused even if they are not absorbing or learning anything better

No poet can stay alive solely in his/her poetry etched in papers, it is the reader audience in whom the poets breath forever.......

Putting yourself first means you will never be last!

Sun glasses are the unofficial celebrities’ uniform.

There is too much fathering going on just now and there is no doubt about it fathers are depressing.

Whether or not you liked George W. Bush, there was no doubt about what position he was going to take, and that's what endeared him to a significant segment of American society.

I generally unwind by having dinner with close friends.

The thing about rigging is, you can learn it if you become a master rigger but there's no book on rigging.

We resist transition not because we can't accept the change, but because we can't accept letting go of that piece of ourselves that we have to give up when and because the situation has changed.