I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

You must believe in yourself, otherwise we are all lost to darkness

The devil is the reason for all the problems we have in the society.

The only teacher that's worth anything to you is your enemy.

Simplicity is the key to happiness.

A man has to have sensibility, wit, mystery, tolerance, and strength... Romance also helps.

The German has not the slightest notion how a people must be misled if the adherence of the masses is sought.

It's [Augusta National] a difficult course and it doesn't make it easier when you have three shanks.

Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from judgement.

Certainty sees things in restrictive, protective, aggressive ways, and thus isn't seeing at all.

The brutal, soul-shaking truth is that we are so earthly minded we are of no heavenly use.