I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and boughr jewelry.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Men always makes gods in their own image.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Be a Strong Leader, Even If You Follow a Weak Leader

The awkwardness of getting reward in a well-off society is that the creation of appetite often requires undoing the work of satisfying appetite.

It was always assumed I would be a professor. I grew up thinking it.

I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.

Read the most useful books, and that regularly and constantly.

Conservation is now a dead word.

There's no such thing as a supermom. We just do the best we can.

You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings.