I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.

Until God draws you to himself, can you come close to Him.

Reality is not art, but a realist art is one that can create an integral aesthetic of reality.

If God wills that I die, then I die. No power on earth can change that.

If an artist tells you "this is an oak tree," then it better be an oak tree. It's how you proclaim things; if you say "the silence is the music," then it's the music.

Plato is never sullen, Cervantes is never petulant, Demosthenes never comes unseasonably, Dante never stays too long.

Life's not about feeling better, it's about getting the job done.

Perhaps it's worth saying again: One reader's discomfort should never stand in the way of another reader's survival.

I know people with PTSD, and it's very real and very hard. But it doesn't change your core character.

While my interest in natural history has added very little to my sum of achievement, it has added immeasurably to my sum of enjoyment in life.

We must be free inside to make a difference outside.