I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

#1425: When you really like someone, tell them. Sometimes you only get one chance.

Yes, you may have your cake and eat it too. I will only take the rest of the world along with all the other cakes in it, thank you!

Some men are so willing to know their future, but unwilling to face the fear of their own death.

In a lawsuit the first to speak seems right, until someone comes forward and cross-examines.

A perfect woman's but a softer man.

But even gold is not everything: and only a fanatic, and a rather foolish fanatic, would say that this style of fiction summed up and exhausted all the good that fiction could give and do.

Music truly is the universal language.

With equality of experience and of general faculties, a woman usually sees much more than a man of what is immediately before her.

Welfare distorts behavior, makes one less personally responsible and reduces the role of private charity. This principle applies to corporate welfare.

Though I weigh only 120 pounds, when I'm mad, I weigh a ton.