I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

Learn to be comfortable in your own skin despite what you see and hear.

Here in the big city people spend their time thinking about work and about money they don't give some value to friendships and it can be depressing.

Napoleon didn't take Moscow, the Nazis got within 21 miles in 1943, but in a war of a different kind, Team Canada conquered Moscow.

The greatest gift you can give a child is an imagination.

The song is ended, but the melody lingers on.

I wouldn't be surprised if history records Tim Berners-Lee as the second Gutenberg.

Change is not about putting a different kind of people in power but a different kind of power in people.

I now know how Tojo felt when he was planning Pearl Harbor.

Privacy I think gets invaded when you start being honest.

Hope is not attached to outcomes but is a state of mind.