I think politics have gotten vulgar and we comedically portray that.

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

Your eyes have no power to see. They only create optical illusions. Only the mind can see it when it is ready to see it.

When you make that crossover from life to real life, when you're not treated as a child anymore but as a man, and you are no longer given the benefit of the doubt, it takes some courage to face that.

This is a boy's lot: anything he does, anything whatever, may afterward turn out to have been a crime - he never knows. And punishment and clemency are alike inexplicable.

Our memory of dreams is a glimpse of the full spiritual life that each of us leads beyond the physical.

People soften by the forced reflection that comes with loss.

Beneath all of her thoughts and worries, beneath the complication of conflicting identities and needs, maybe it's as simple as loving the way some other person looks when they're sleeping.

I do a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory.

I ask you to make INSTITUTE a PRIORITY.

Donald Trump started this campaign in 2014 he said if I run for president I'll absolutely release my taxes.

I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.