I think religion is a neurological disorder.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

...the pleasures of literary fiction are the pleasures of orientation

When people change their irrational beliefs to undogmatic flexible preferences, they become less disturbed.

Good cardio helps in any athletic practice, but in jujitsu, it has been very helpful late in a sparring session where a long roll starts to take its toll on your cardio.

I will not trade freedom for beneficence nor my dignity for a handout.

I don't have makeup on all the time, but when I want, I have fun with my friends choosing clothes and putting nail polish on.

Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and to take as a gift whatever the day brings forth. [Lat., Quid sit futurum cras, fuge quaerere: et Quem Fors dierum cunque dabit, lucro Appone.]

There's looks as speaks as strong as words.

When I was young I knew I was deaf. I couldn't accept it.

I don't think anybody was ever up 6-2 and would lose the tiebreaker

For me, writing is 75 percent procrastinating and 25 percent actually sitting down and working.