I think sometimes you don't understand how to convey an idea, depending on the moment you're living in.

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.

The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream

Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams.

The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is.

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.

Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.

It was a hard name having growing up as a child. Some kids would call me names like "Birbiglebug" and "Birbibliography" and "Faggot". Some were more clever than others.

Good friends will allow you to be as innocent and free as a child when in private, and as wise and mature as an adult when in public.

Some people would rather that you die for their beliefs than that they re-examine those beliefs.

For we know not what we should pray for.

There is actually a fair amount of money being put behind science today.

What is man? He's just a collection of chemicals with delusions of grandeur.

The Enron scandal calls into question the integrity of the entire capitalist system, which previously we assumed was based on honest, straightforward greed.

You're only as old as your spine.

I have seen soldiers panic at the first sight of battle, and a squire pulling arrows from his body to fight and save his dying horse. Nobility is not a birthright, but is defined by one's actions.

Tatiana realized she was too young to hide well what was in her heart but old enough to know that her heart was in her eyes.

The game I play is a very interesting one. It's imagination, in a tight straightjacket.