I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

Cure the symptoms, cure the disease.

No single characteristic ever overtakes an entire society.

If he cannot stop the mind that seeks after fame and profit, he will spend his life without finding peace.

Lean against the edge, sweetheart. I'm falling off."--Brent Greene

Set me anything to do as a task, and it is inconceivable the desire I have to do something else.

By the time we complete the care for the wounded soldiers, $6 trillion, that's $50,000 per American household.

If you know how to worry, you know how to meditate. It means to think of something over and over.

Just because we live in a Christian era doesn't mean we're all Christian, necessarily.

I used to wear different rings when I first got called Ringo in about 19, about, umm, '59 I got called Ringo.

Siblings tend not to care much about boundaries and borders. Having worn each others' T-shirts, it's unlikely that they'd go to war over a border.