I think that when one is dead one should be a little bit bolder, so that the rest of us may have some record of how things actually were.

Between history and the novel stands biography, their unwanted offspring, which has brought a great embarrassment to them both.

Inthehistorian'sview biography isa kindoffrogspawn it takes ten thousand biographies to make one small history.

The institutions of Churchianity are not Christianity. An institution is a good thing if it is second

In this sublime hour, therefore, He calls all His children to the pulpit of the Cross, and every word He says to them is set down for the purpose of an eternal publication and an undying consolation.

I found out that if you made people laugh, they like you. Most people got to like me because I made them laugh. When they didn't, I hit them.

Time is a perishable commodity.

One should take good care not to grow too wise for so great a pleasure of life as laughter.

I'm a very loyal boyfriend. I'm a bit of a joker I can be romantic, but not too sickly.

Is it not a noble farce, wherein kings, republics, and emperors have for so many ages played their parts, and to which the whole vast universe serves for a theatre?

Any man who doesn't love his mama can't be no friend of mine.

The opposite of consumption is not thrift - it is generosity.

He who feels contempt for any living thing hath faculties that he hath never used, and thought with him is in its infancy.